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“By the time you read this, I’ll be buried 10 feet in regret. I tried not telling you this for the longest time. In the time I’ve known you, life has changed in a multitude of ways. You stayed the same for me. So many priorities changed, but it was like you were on an entirely other list, and that list only had your name. With you, the better side of me wanted to push through the surface and flaunt. You made me feel like I was special, like I was someone different.”

Fingers hover over keyboard. Uncertainty.

“All those harmless flirts, all those silly arguments, all those hilarious jokes became something I shared only with you. You made me see the sun after the dark night, and when I was stuck to a stone, you drew my gaze to the endless horizon. You awed me in so many ways. You were so different. You were like the tangible version of perfection. You treated me like no one else. For every question mark I held, you gave out answers with exclamations. When I thought the best of life came to a full stop, you extended them into ellipses…

“You were so central to my world. You never influenced my decision with your opinion; instead, you told me only what I would’ve done if I wasn’t panicky. You made me see myself as I really am. It felt like a revelation. Like after all these years of existing, I’d only begun to realize how to live. If it wasn’t for you, optimism would be a cynical word. Darkness would be the light. Light would be the enemy. And the enemy would be me.”

Bites on her lower lip. A little fear.

“I know it’s silly of me to be unsure of something like this, but I think I like you. Somewhere along the perfect friendship we shared, I began to realize nobody will know me the way you do.”

Cursor hovers over ‘Send’. She changes her mind.

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